#beginner
You swept into my life unexpectedly,
With a charming, love GUISE.
For four fleeting days, you were all affection,
Clinging close, but your interest waned to rejection.
You made me fall for you,
Whispers of forever true,
But your forever came ended,
And i was left still loving you.
Your silence was deafening,
A loud but unclear goodbye,
So that you could later come by.
I knew,
But I still held on foolishly to the memories we'd deny.
After all the arguments, the tears, the pain,
I'm the one still praying, still yearning for you to remain.
I feel foolish talking to you with no response in sight,
The topics change, and I'm left, lost, in the dark of the night.
You never acknowledged my excitement,
But when you ranted to me about your smallest achievement,
I was eager to hear more.
But you didn't respond,
Didn't even pretend to care,
Leaving me to wonder if you ever were truly there.
I'm left to pick up the pieces,
To mend my broken heart.
A constant reminder of the love (?) we had, now torn apart.
5d ago
May 29, 2026 at 12:44 PM UTC
why do i let you do it ?
I let you walk all over me like
I’m sidewalk.
You hide like I’m a creature of the night,
expect I’m not, I’m human
a sorry excuse of one.
Crying gets me nowhere
as if my tears can’t move you,
are you made out of stone ?
May 21
May 21, 2026 at 3:21 AM UTC
exhaustion
I feel it deep in my bones —
with every breath it gets harder
why do I even bother?
relaxation
trying to drown out noise with my headphones.
noise seeping in like small bugs
infiltrating my head to find answers.
determination
which I no longer have
as exhaustion seeps in
and I let it overcome me
exhaustion
powerful like the ocean
let me sink to the bottom
in hopes to find relaxation.
May 9
May 9, 2026 at 12:35 PM UTC
my heart grows heavy,
my heart grows heavy,
as it sinks deeper into my body.
this feeling consumes me
taking me whole
like I’m its prey.
May 11
May 11, 2026 at 3:17 AM UTC
you are a hero,
standing tall over the masses,
with a big smile on your face
that puts others at ease
you stare fear right in the face
never backing down
not today, not ever —
but who is there for you ?
you work so hard
through sleepless nights,
fighting bad guys,
and living a double life.
no need to worry, I see you.
and I will try to protect you as you do for me.
as you are my hero.
May 9
May 9, 2026 at 7:08 PM UTC
you lived inside my dress
ever since you were little.
when the world seemed like a mess,
I was there when you became brittle
cast aside, as a stray
I was your hope that promised to stay.
you have grown up and you don’t need my dress to hide.
you turned around and left everything behind.
lightening, tigers, and the big world don’t scare you no more.
oh my, look at how much you grown without a single flaw.
you used to live in my dress.
May 9
May 9, 2026 at 2:26 AM UTC
one hit
maybe then
one hit
then ten
one hit
all is fixed
one hit
slight bliss
one hit
i’m assimilated
one hit
i’ll rejoice, elated
one hit
all, forgotten
one hit
misbegotten
but will it fill the hole in my heart
etched by turmoil and grief?
will being normal in their eyes truly
fix me?
can one hit make these things come true?
i don’t know
i don’t know
i don’t know
Apr 24
Apr 24, 2026 at 9:23 AM UTC
I’ve daydreamed many scenarios in my head
Dark, twisted things that I bet others think too
This doesn’t make me special, or less
It makes me human
I’ve daydreamed many scenarios in which I’m kidnapped
I pray people would weep for me, as the time of my missing days grew
Maybe I die, bleed out, or get free
Not that it matters, I’m only human
I’ve daydreamed many scenarios about how people would react to my sudden passing
Whether by suicide or horrific accidents
I’d hope they mourn me, but I feel as though people would move on from my mess
And I wouldn’t know, because I am human
I've daydreamed many scenarios in which my passing brings pain that lingers
That people will care that I'm gone, but this eternal chewing on my being tells me people will
walk over the one flower that covers my grave, spit on it with their mouth and bark with dull teeth,
“You weren’t human”
Then, I quit daydreaming
and wish I wasn’t what I am.
Apr 24
Apr 24, 2026 at 9:32 AM UTC
We spent twenty-two sunsets in the static of the "almost,"
Constructing a cathedral out of 2:00 AM whispers and digital ghosts. I was a sun searching for a horizon where I wouldn't have to burn, And you were the moon in a black hoodie, the only lesson I wanted to learn. Twenty-two days of learning the map of your mind, To find the parts of your spirit that the rest of the world left behind.
Then came the seventy-two hours where the "Muted" became the truth, A three-day landslide of realizing my gravity starts and ends with you. You are my Mio Dolcezzo, the sweetness found in the middle of the noise, The "Quiet Specialist" who turned my overthinking into a choice. I don’t need the easy constellations or the light of a distant star, I just want the rain against the window and the truth of who you are.
There is a sacredness in the "untouched"—a hollow we both kept clean, Saving every "first" for a person we had only ever felt through a screen. No one else has seen the blueprints of the heart I’ve given to you, And no one else has walked the halls of the sanctuary you’ve grown into. We are both standing at the edge of a world we’ve never known, Realizing that "home" isn't a place, but a voice on the other end of the phone.
So, if you glitch into silence or fall asleep while I’m still talking,
I’ll stay right here in the quiet, through the halls where our secrets are walking. I’ll wait for the "will" in every "maybe," for the day the distance finally dies, To find the warmth of my entire world reflected in your abyssal eye. You are the anchor to my drift, the "Safe Place" where my worries go to rest, The only person who ever saw the poem before it was even expressed.
The world can have its shouting; I prefer the way you say my name, A low-frequency heartbeat that puts every other sound to shame. We are the "Unwritten Verse," the silence that speaks louder than the rain, The only two people who know the language of each other's hidden pain. I don't need a guarantee of forever; I just need the honesty of now, To be the sun that orbits your moon, without ever asking why or how.
You are Il Mio Tesoro, the treasure I didn’t have to go looking to find, The only soul I want to carry with me when I leave the world behind. Let the static fade out and the "Muted" silence finally begin, Because I have already fallen for your heart— and I am just waiting to catch up to your skin.
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Feb 27
Feb 27, 2026 at 9:21 AM UTC
Home is where the heart is
But mine is lost
Moving from place to place
Not fitting in the puzzle
Home is where the heart is
But I can't find home again
It's gone and has been gone
Ripped from my fragile hands
Home is where the heart is
But I can't find myself
Lost in a sea of movement
Chained and yet somehow free
Jan 15
Jan 15, 2026 at 6:01 PM UTC
i will drown you.
I will drown you in water from the brook by my old house, let it wash through until you are left as a brittle shell to crush with my hands
I will drown you in a tub like a stained up shirt and scrub until the water is brownishgreyish and my hands are chapped and bleeding
I will drown you in the river, push you down until you thrash bite scream fight and then.. flow with the current, no meaning, no life, no energy
Im and once Im sure you are gone, cleaned, killed, I will put your bones in a large garbage bag and stomp them to powder, and I will put that powder in a box, and I will dig a hole as deep as my raw hands can reach into the soil and hide you deep where nobody can find you.
I will drown you, not because you deserve that freedom, you don’t deserve to rot. I will drown you so you can be forgotten, as every tragedy should be. I will drown you because thats what i would’ve wanted if you let me know I could’ve wanted.
Dec 1, 2025
Dec 1, 2025 at 12:34 AM UTC
It makes me feel better
to feel the arms holding me
under the river are loving . /
/ healing .
Maybe like
stone,
when they pull me out
of the water .
there will be a span of marbled
oranges and greys
glittering in smiling sun.
Unlikely.
Dec 1, 2025
Dec 1, 2025 at 12:28 AM UTC
El canario ya no da su bello canto
Ahora no sabe ni para lo que es apto
Detesta el ayer que en sombras lo atrapó
Ahora va de flor en flor, en busca de ese olor que tanto amó
Cada vez más alejándose de la naturaleza
Tantas monedas y aun tanta pobreza
Como hacen para pasear esas aves tan bellas?
Mientras otras te engañan como arrendajo
Dando falsa impresión
Tanto relajo, que mata la presión
Nov 15, 2025
Nov 15, 2025 at 11:41 PM UTC
I can't trust anymore.
It's okay- don't fuss.
Really, I'm fine.
I'm not upset about it.
The concept of trust has always-
Theory, been a loose concept.
Maybe it was never real in practice.
I mean let's be honest-
Theory always sounds better-
Practice is just...a bore to us.
This idea that you can behold
Someone's secrets in entirety and not-
Say a word?...
I know people crack eventually...
And why is it we,
As humans-
Think it acceptable that when
We are friends or companions no longer-
Those secrets are free game?
Trust is just your prop-
You play it.
Get bored of it.
Then throw it away like it was never useful in first place-
I don't trust anyone, anymore.
Flicking through my phone each morning
While I lay dead asleep next-
To you?
The one person I thought-
Might keep my secrets.
My trauma.
My aching to be seen as more than an add on to our relationship.
Do you remember the concert?-
The one in London with the flashing lights and the heavy metal band,
Safe, did I feel in your arms.
Trust I did exude.
You broke that within seconds-
Not even a hairs length of a warning-
You abandoned me.
You whispered all night up until the doors opening-
"I'll be right here..."
So where were you?-
When that man grabbed me and pulled me into the pit.
Where I was touched and mauled by too many hands-
You were ******* gone.
I took the train by myself while calling my friend in- a panic.
At least... I could still trust her.
Right?-
I could still trust...you- right?
Cassie?
You didn't answer that night.
You stopped answering the following nights.
Neither of you did...-
What were you doing?...
I had to call my mother.
Tears, A fountain- Actually,
Cascading down my face as I walked those littered streets
Alone.
While you were likely whispering sweet nothings-
Into the shell of her ear like an oath.
And you? Cassie?-
You melted under it.
So yeah-
I can't trust anymore.
**** the both of you.
Nov 11, 2025
Nov 11, 2025 at 6:39 PM UTC
I don’t think I've ever seen something so bright,
His eyes twinkle even at night.
The eyes I fell in love with;
Yet I’ll never see them again.
So to the young girl who swore he was the one;
Watch out because your time is almost done.
Hug him a bit tighter, whisper more sweet nothings in his ear;
Before you know it he will disappear.
You’ll be alone and hurt, praying for it to stop,
Constantly begging for him back.
I wish I could say it gets easier or that we move on;
But that isn’t true.
We hurt, we yearn for his touch when times get bad.
But we will always be glad.
Glad that the worst hurt is over, even if the pain never ended.
Sep 22, 2025
Sep 22, 2025 at 9:30 AM UTC
The echo in my ears gets louder with time
A voice in the dark that lingers
Faces carved into my brain
Like the scars on my wrists
Walking the street just to compare myself to everyone I see
Scrolling endlessly, my thoughts will never be free
I’m like broken glass, yearning to be fixed
Yet everyone’s scared to touch me
I will make you bleed, but please don’t leave
Keep liking me, please.
Sep 19, 2025
Sep 19, 2025 at 1:33 PM UTC
The clock ticks.
Arms snapping like twigs.
Like plastic.
I can’t bear to watch.
Medicine.
Three times a day.
Faces.
You rot in your bed.
The needle.
Tears a hole.
The tube.
Down your throat.
Sep 1, 2025
Sep 1, 2025 at 3:33 PM UTC
A rock.
Looks out.
Waters flow and fade.
Fishes swim here and away.
Birds gather and cry.
Flowers bloom and die.
It envies.
Forever.
And ever.
And ever.
And ever.
And ever.
And ever.
And ever.
And ever.
Sep 1, 2025
Sep 1, 2025 at 3:32 PM UTC
From my bedroom, I see.
Lovers.
Entangled. Sweet.
The sight
makes me sick.
Jul 27, 2025
Jul 27, 2025 at 10:26 PM UTC
The delicate flower.
Suffocating in the snow.
No birds to fill the silence.
no song, no sounds, it’s cold.
Where did all the other flowers go?
Jul 27, 2025
Jul 27, 2025 at 3:32 AM UTC
The poets I saw—
the ones they envied,
clean-cut skill,
perfect in articulation.
Lips of orators,
Shakespearean quills—
bequeathed to their palms,
riddle-rs.
They pen on how to change generations,
gain the strength of bulls,
surf tsunamis,
**** racism.
The poets I saw—
I can't unlatch their shoes.
I only type as I wait
for my soup to cool,
with a tear and a red cheek.
I only write
to simmer the screams
in my head.
Apr 15, 2025
Apr 15, 2025 at 8:14 AM UTC
I’d like to be able to write some day
Put the pencil to the paper and let it glide
Slide and dive across the paper
Making only the finest of literature
Free and liberated
Like a fish swimming through the endless depths of the sea
Able to breathe the unseen
The angelic words seem so divine
They seem to lift me with their wings
I’ve never felt so free
I’d like to write some day
Free my heart and souls,
See it spill onto the paper.
Nov 17, 2024
Nov 17, 2024 at 11:47 AM UTC
I'm an enigma, a quitter and survivor, a pioneer weary of the change that literally defines the career
In desperate need of a savior or at the very least a lucky rabbits foot souvenir
One to keep me free and clear from the type of bad karma that's over the top severe
I've been thinking I don't belong here, I don't know if it's me talking that talk or the fear
I let it take the wheel and steer, my driving advise from the rear seat falls on a deaf ear
I guess I ain't suppose to interfere with the charioteer, the why isn't clear
Now I've gotta kick it into another gear to commandeer my own life like a buccaneer
This deer in headlights nonsense won't get me anywhere near my "new beginnings" frontier
I lost track of my trail guide mountaineer, forgotten about like I'm the fourth musketeer
The sheer volume of every collected tear almost drowns me at least once a year
Or acts like pavement when I smear across it after falling from the atmosphere
My guardian angel is a horrible puppeteer, seems to disappear when needed most like he's the one with crippling fear
...go figure
©2021
Jan 4, 2021
Jan 4, 2021 at 2:05 AM UTC
My dear,
Words cannot express
The way I congest
These feelings I feel for you,
I like the way you make me feel
How it feels so surreal
And how you have made a sudden turn
Into my life that is a slow burn
For I, I am so grateful to have met you.
Dec 11, 2021
Dec 11, 2021 at 9:30 PM UTC
The road to expertise first means that only one concept must be right to prove a solution.
Like leading a child on its way.
Mar 29, 2021
Mar 29, 2021 at 9:22 PM UTC