Shallow, unforgiving dysfunctional darkness Lurking in the crossroads between good and evil Standing there lost, impulsive but shamed Striking a pose of glory and false strength I felt his troubles and pain on a Sunday night a work at the bar I felt his accidental slipping tires screech against the pavement Only to find he didn't want me so he left me behind at the hospital I tried to call But I was weak so I text my condolences As the girl in the background that he never spoke about held as hand as he got well, or better I'm not sure if I was capable of that That is why the last day I saw his face I was speechless That is why he never got the answer he was looking for And I never got the hope that I was dying for I was scared of truth and love And revealing my insanity to the innocent, perfect saints I could never face myself It took years of crying and self loathing entries in my diary It took self destructive behavior and God's pure indulgence to guide me Living in regret is the worst hell Its damaging and twisted like the thoughts that fill my heart When it once was enchantment and hopeful and bright Not embracing my flaws left me stranded behind Failing Falling Fueling Fearing Fragile If only he knew the dysfunction and the tears If only he knew that failure made me fearless now a days If only I could go back to seeing that amazing day If I had another chance