I feel like I watched everyone I love slip away and pull back
And I beg you don’t do it, too, but if you do, at least
Say sorry and pull the knife out of my back.
Sometimes, when I fall asleep, though it takes so long,
I wake up, in the middle of the night,
I writhe in pain, and see you there.
I even had a dream, and it felt so real,
(it wasn’t)
Where you were waking up, getting ready, brushing your hair
And I stayed in bed, why, I don’t know
But maybe so I could watch you tip toe across
The floorboards, bend down to grab your things,
Because your movement fuels my beating heart.
And it’s odd, really, I woke up
(alone), and honestly,
The pain was unbearable. And honestly,
I would **** to have you here with me.