They say to love something is to suffer for it
Well, I'm pretty sure I loved you because, I can't even remember the good times we had anymore
All I look back and see is the FOOLISH girl waiting on the borderline, praying, hoping, pleading for your return
I stood there even when I was well aware of her presence
When I was well aware of where you were when you weren't with me... And couldn't be bothered to answer your phone
I laid by the borderline and cried endless tears night after night
Awaiting a return that deep down I knew was NEVER coming
So I have suffered
But, I don't have you
So what did I suffer for exactly?
To watch you build a life with her? The life I thought we had?
To be strung along for months before getting cut off completely
Just left standing in the dust of who I THOUGHT you were
The suffering didn't stop when the truth hit
Or when my head kept telling my heart to give it up
I wanted so desperately not to want you
Not to need you
But thoughts of you.. Of us..
Just consumed my head.. My heart..My life
It eventually got better
I started meaning the goodbyes that I'd been saying for so long
You appeared less and less in my mind
It seemed the suffering was coming to an end
Though I gained NOTHING from it
I know I never crossed your mind even close to how many times I caught myself daydreaming over you
Did you even give a second glance to the girl who literally was holding her heart in her hands... Offering it all to you?
Do memories of any kind ever flood your mind?
NEVERMIND
If I start to go there, the suffering just starts all over again
And I'm lost in a past love, a past game, a past heartbreak that I can no longer feel
Or I will drown inside my sorrow
So tell me, how much more suffering would I have to do to have you?
How much more suffering do I have to do to be OVER you???
Cause she hasn't felt nearly the amount of hurt that I have
Yet she has you...
And here I am, STILL writing about you
Still SUFFERING...
For nothing
For absolutely nothing