do you ever wonder if you will
remember this

will this moment live on in you
when you reminisce

all the anger of today
how long will you stay ******

and the one you love today
will you still want to kiss

I look back
some days are blank
what did I live them for

why did I turn my head away
how much did I ignore

if you ask me what I did
a year ago
last September

there is nothing that stands out
was there nothing to remember?

or maybe I have memories
but don't remember when

it becomes a part of me
and all the edges blend

all a seamless tapestry
of memory in my head

woven into me so smoothly
that I can't see the threads

or sometimes
I live the same day again and again

I can't place the memory
because there is no 'when'

sometimes I don't record the memory
why should I even bother

when life is a sentence
I write over and over

or sometimes I don't remember
because I was distracted

caught up in my thoughts again
instead of interacting

hiding away in my head
because I belong here

blocking out the world
like a ******* zombie

sometimes I am a coward
living in chains

I turn my head away
because I am ashamed

I don't care to remember
who I was
who I am

but I'm in every single memory
that I have

and I can't go back
and be someone else

but I can find a better way
of interacting with myself

even if I'm not the person that I want to be
yet

I can learn to forgive
instead of forget

turn away from the screen
instead of from life

be present
be in this moment
be alive

today
tomorrow
this September

it's time to live a life
that I am going to remember