I fought so hard to get out of this hole
Lost so much to make myself whole
Given up a lot to give peace to my soul
Now it's as if nothing matters anymore

I'm slowly fading  back to the abyss,
It stares at me and everything seems amiss
Confusion blocking my thoughts,
Like chains welded to every idea before it forms

Last time i said i would be fine
But as i sip from this bottle of white wine
Trying to forget , or maybe trying to remember
When was the last time i tried leaving this chamber?

I call it my mind but it feels like a cage
It traps me inside but now i want to fade,
Into the background where i can be free
Free from judgment , free from punishment

I look at the table where i put my blade
As i fade , i ask myself what it would take
To feel better like sunshine on my face
To stop running from all my mistakes

The thoughts of killing myself come rushing through my brain
I need a release perhaps a distraction from the pain
I start cutting and feel numb , i feel nothing but this blade,
on my skin and tell myself ,"Let me fade today, fight again another day."