today I searched for a knife
not to **** anyone in the bright of the night

no I didn’t mean
I only thought about hurting the one who is speaking now

me and myself

I don't know why
wait that's incorrect
I DO know why
but it’s all stupid in the back of the end

let me say that
I was hypnotized
by my own thoughts
searching for a knife
even more hypnotized was I
when I couldn't find it
I almost asked my mom where it hid

cause I was pretty sure I left it on my shelf
looked in all my backpacks
in my coat and even on my night table

searching for a knife

now looking at the time
so much fades away
suddenly realizing what happened anyway

I was searching for a knife

A KNIFE

I can't

looked around
saw the mess
back to the present
with eyes full of innocence

searching for a knife
but still knowing I could bite

I bet my past self hid it somewhere
cause I always leave things behind
thinking I could find

now I’m looking with the eyes of past me
when I was five
asking what I'm doing

all I say to past me five is
survive

and there the feeling is back
me worrying about future me when I'm twenty four
cause I am pretty sure
if those thoughts say the same
this will be no fair game

searching for a knife