In rumination I dwell

Wondering where it all went wrong

Why do I suffer?

Why do I struggle?

Why so difficult feeling at home in my body?

In this soul-searching I realize

I am but a product of generational trauma

Of suppressed emotions begging to release

Of repressed power too inconvenient to the patriarchy

Of festering illness, of stuffing oneself full so to not feel all of this any longer

Of diabetes and depression and erratic mood swings undiagnosed, misunderstood

Genetic mutation and poor methylation

Self hatred of bodies full and voluptuous, only to shrink down

Because that's what society and the magazines said to do

Never satisfied

Never questioning any of it!

Perpetuating the cycle

On and on down the rabbit hole of my own self-study

Seeking knowledge of how to heal

The herbs to take, the foods to eat

The mantras to chant and affirmations to exclaim

Right down to every biological mechanism and neurotransmitter

Doing the work to break the cycle

Desperate for answers, for meaning, for clarity!

I just want to know why! Why are we like this?

What can I do? Where can I go?

I just want to feel well

In a moment of truth, it became clear to me what I must do

See, some of us were put here to be cycle breakers

To end the trauma!

To speak our truth!

To own our strength!

To feel at peace in body and mind!

To embrace our femininity and take back what is ours!

Oh, if I could go back and just teach them!

Show them what's possible!

Hold them and say, there there

Not to worry

We are healed now

The best I can do is share what I have learned

To live this truth in the present

So much that it inspires everyone around me

And that my dears, is how it is done