I was chatting to a bear the other day;
He says to me,
"My missus is an angel. Every morning she makes me a cup of tea and gives me a big kiss before I go to work."

I replied,
"That's all well and good, but my missus shags me rotten every night."

The bear looked to the floor and slowly shook his head in disbelief.
"Every night?"

"Yep, every night."

Turns out the poor ******* was on rumpy rations, with the goods only being dished up on birthdays and Christmas.
I showed him how to use Tinder, so hopefully he'll be getting his oats more regularly now.