you miss a lot
when it’s happening
as you hurtle through
the wonderful moments
of your life

looking back
you can see how it all unfolded

the little glances and motions,
the afternoons spent in thrift stores,
the evenings spent in movie theatres,
the conversations till the sun came up,
the jokes shared, the laughs enjoyed,
the almost, nearly, so-close chances,
they all flew by the first time around.

she’d laugh at me now
because she always knew
but I was too dumb
or too nervous
to know

(but I knew,
deep down)

and it tell the truth to you
it’s been almost four years
since I first fell in love with her
and I never stopped, not for a day

not through the cancer,
not through Christina,
not through depression

she was my core,
she was my life,
she was something I knew
I would always have,
even if I didn’t
have her,



so even if I missed some things
while they were happening
I want her to know
that I wouldn’t have seen anything
if she had not opened my eyes
in the first place

and for that,
and many other things,
I will never miss anything
ever again.