This world is a testing place
It prepares us for the life to come
There are no tears in heaven
Those who don't cry now are cursed
These aren't death throes but growing pains
Every time they used me as a stepping stone
Every time they betrayed me
I chose to extend peace back to them
I did not fight back
I am a stumbling block to their pride
Going from place to place receiving blows,
only to have God elevate me to a point
Where my uptick makes them squeal
And squirm like spoiled toddlers
I take no pleasure in it
There is a pain on my conscience
I could have done more to serve my maker
Yet to my credit
I chose blindness and death over evil
All these memories I have of being used
They **** me off enough to stick to the straight path
I am being tried and tested
Yet the heat of the furnace does not hurt me
I do not fear my own destruction
But what I might do in haste
To the oppressor
I struggle to forgive the evildoer in my heart
Though outwardly I forgive them instantly
The pain they caused is undeniable
At night I reflect upon it
I cannot sleep without reliving the past
Replaying their words in my mind
I'm glad I never caused a huge ripple
But dwelled in the shade until I was ready
Going from dark place to dark place
After all, we still live in the shadows