I liked the color red

So, I cut myself open

I hated myself

So, I relied on others devotion

There comes a point in life

When you think you need the knife

Cause you really thought you were broken

I stay in a state

Stuck where my minds set to survive

Where I just need to stay awake

Stay healthy and stay alive

Because when you're broken beyond repair

And your mind has no manual

And that fit of depression

No longer becomes annual

You say “what the hell”

And throw it all away

Your relationships die out

Your texts are just “Oks”

I liked the color blue

So, I forced myself to drown

I hated disappointing others

So, I hid my famous frown

With my head in the clouds

And my mind bleeding out

I turned to silence

Not a cry or a shout

Green's a peaceful color

But it can get pretty annoying

I thought I was being productive,

But it’s myself I was exploiting

They thought I was pretty

People preoccupied by my purity

A praetor of perfection

But now I’ve lost my security

I liked the color orange

So, I kept myself occupied

Submerged myself in lights and loud noises

My mind colonized

I find something peaceful in panic attacks

Feeling the air leave my lungs

Eyes wild

Feeling shaky cries abandon my tongue

Colors spin in my brain

Painting my thoughts

A mess of swirling shades

That contribute to my memory loss

Red,

Blue,

Orange,

A terrifying view

A terrifying truth

Something that can’t be spoken

I hate the color red

Yet I still cut myself open