perhaps the reason why I could never stray away from u
was that you became the catalyst to my discovery of being alive
being alive without restrictions or repercussions
u led me to a point where i was ready to watch my world burn
so that i could see through the smokescreens
and for once and for all , live out the small percentage of having my true freedom

i felt like Maddie, watching you through my phone screen and getting so oddly fascinated by our differences
i only worried about you feeling sorry for myself
but you never made it obvious or real

You didn't save me- you simply were.

when we sat across each other at the table, and you were busy telling me the origins of your name, your likes and dislikes,
your friends and the upcoming party ,
deja vu visited me and said 'do u feel familar?'
i knew this was inevitable now


few first moments of seeing each other in person and we made out in your corridor
i met you 43 full moons ago
half drunk and heartbroken that i was trapped forever
in my small little world
now im the small little being in the big large world

i was cautious and plain and perfect
i now only see beauty and lessons i've gained

i often see you in my dreams
we meet in my messy,cozy room
but you're always telling me something interesting
while i tell myself how to stop thinking about your hands on my face

you were the last matchstick i somehow found
to re kindle my candle that was supposed to be covered in dust
and i happily revel in the warm wax melting through my gullibilty.

"Be careful because once you become a part of the world it becomes a part of you, too?
Because there’s no denying it now. I’m in the world.

And, too, the world is in me."
(excerpts from the book-'everything,everything')