See me hitch, retching, and spit An awful glob of blackened, steaming bile A bug writhes, dying slow in the poison Like a man whose back is pierced with a blade I fear this is no disease in my guts Rather waste from my pustulating self
I am clawing at my self Cracking open a stomach full of spit My fingers stained with the soot from my guts And corroded through in the pitch black bile Using my teeth like a serrated blade My tongue stings, awash in the dark poison
It maddens me, this poison How it managed to fester in my self Slowly it formed like a thousand fold blade It mingled and covered my teeth like spit Ate away at something, this awful bile And made its home, coating my writhing guts
As I sit scrying my guts I must not hide the proof in this poison I manufactured this brackish, black bile Allowed it to well up within my self To weaponize, to defensively spit A subtler offense than any crude blade
In the ground I ****** the blade Preparing to spill the rest of my guts And I see others, smiles leaking spit Slurries and suspensions of the poison The byproduct of our worship of self This self-absolving, all-filling black bile
I cannot remove the bile Someone else and better must wield the blade I must submit all control over self Submit to the pain of purging my guts The sound of my head landing in poison My hair with the bugs in puddles of spit
As it stands, the bile still leaks from my guts I've met the blade yet not kicked the poison And my self, I keep a mouth full of spit
A poem about selfishness, emptying yourself, and yielding your authority over your own life.