I want to die
not in the way that I’m supposed to,
Cause I never do what i’m supposed to.

I want to rot in the corner of someone’s conscience,
Like the lost friend from your childhood
Loved, forgotten and ignored
But undeniably present.
I want to be forgotten
like the scream muffled under a party song,
like a suicide note
burned before it was read,
Or never found,

Not a name forgotten,
but a name mispronounced
Or just on the tip of your tongue
By someone who pretends to care
By someone's mind that is painted red,
With my blood, but no guilt,
As I must always forgive
I don’t want a eulogy,
I want to be the glitch in a childhood memory,
the static between the channels,
the reason you pause mid-laugh
and feel sick for no reason.
When I disappear,
let it be like ink bleeding through your skin,
beautiful and wrong,
disgusting but permanent.
Let me go like a sin you almost confessed.