A smile spreads along my face at my audacity to think I could put together a string of words and say I wrote a poem for you
To say I'm sorry and please forgive me.
I knew what I was doing but to lose your love is not what I foresaw
But sorry had become so ordinary in our love it will not soothe your soul but smash your heart again.
Your heart with the Midas touch returned all the innocence I once possessed before life stripped it away and left me naked.
I could sit here and recite a bible of soliloquies about a doubled edged sword of I love you I hate you.
But I won't.
I mutter your name in my sleep and morrow they will ask what I said and I'll look up with an iron curtain around my emotions and say a nightmare I will myself to forget.
Because you are  a constant reminder of how I infamously ruin any good that comes to me.
I am fathers daughter after all , I conceived  in a woman the joys that lit her face in the darkness and kept her fears at bay.
I took the promise of forever and obliterated the light in her eyes and walked away leaving her alone with a broken life.
And now I am barren like women who can't give birth and empty like a woman who said yes to abortion.
And I'll never know what love means