As someone who was born in chaos.
I did not know what it meant to be loved.
So when I met you.

As delusional as I am.
As broken as I am.
As naive as I am.

I thought that our relationship was real.
I thought that your love was real
even though you do not exist.

Loving you could not bring me any harm.
I have to admit that I was wrong.
Loving you is hurting me
even if it is not something you intended to do.

Loving you has suffocated me
because as much as I hate to admit
I know that someday
I have to let you go.
I have to let myself free.

I cannot desperately live in the thought that
Someday you will exist.
Someday I can love you openly.
Someday our love will be normalized.

Because as much as I loved to be with you.
I cannot cling to my unrealistic hopes
Forever

I am sorry that at the end of the day.
I am only human.
I am sorry that at the end of the day.
I am selfish.
I am sorry that at the end of the day.
I want something you cannot give.