I used to be filled
With such intense emotions
Every day
A tear and a smile
Filled the jar

It was filled with anger and sorrow
But also filled with beauty and color
It was like stepping on sharp rocks in a beautiful sea of blue

Now the water has been drained
And the rocks made into sand that just sticks uncomfortably to me

I do not miss the pain
Bruises on my feet,
Blood making a pool of self-hate on my hands,
Or do I?

I think I just miss the ocean water
I long for the light of the sun reflecting on it
And the creatures that call it home

I feel that the sea has been emptied
And so has my soul...

I know I can't stop taking the little pill
That just keeps increasing in size
But I don't know how much longer I can take it

I don't know how much longer I can stand in the this big hole that was once the ocean