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Oct 2013
Just another crazy dream,
a third division sub routine
one more throw back,go to nil,and filled with images of course

Riding the China white concourse on the riderless pale horse which cost me plenty,twenty,maybe more,
don't remember keeping score
or how long the ride went on
or even if I was the one
sat there.

Dreams don't share this information just fill me with such consternation that I wake up in a sweat,
don't yet know what dreams do show me if they show me anything at all
and if I fall,
I fall alone through paper bags and tag alongs and uncaring of the rights and wrongs,if I hit rock bottom hard,it's my hard luck,
I took the first step on the stair
but still don't know if I'm sat there.

Flashbacks, needle tracks and red hot trains in coal black sacks and stacks of stacks that won't lay still and will I ever settle for the bottle or the pill?
and if I do,I lose the will I thought was mine,
traded off for one more time and one more line along the China white where walls of self delusion stand and fight illusions of my potency,
Important though it may be, there seems no synchronicity in actions I have taken,each action on its own as if it was a skimming stone that sank somewhere,
I wonder if I am sat there.

I had to wake of course
even horses need to rest and I think the dream was sent to test my fortitude or steadfastness,
in the face of nothing where another mess awaits and nothing states the obvious more than the blank look,like the first step that I took and the empty stair which is obvious to me leads me nowhere,
was I sat there
was that the third division sub routine
was this life nothing
but a crazy hedonistic dream?
but if it wasn't me
then I have a twin
either way
we never win.
John Edward Smallshaw
Written by
John Edward Smallshaw  67/Here and now
(67/Here and now)   
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