When the day is over and I see the moon shine its light through my window, I feel this overwhelming wave of sadness and loneliness
These painfull thoughts that I'm trying to hopelessly push away, climb back in to my head and begins to drip down my face  as tears
But everytime I see my self come back to these familiar feelings and fill my head with these thoughts of loneliness, I feel in this twisted way more alive than ever

Although the truth probably is
I have never felt loved in my entire life

As my heart pumps this liquid that is filled with pain and thoughts of giving up
As my head wonders
What's the point of meeting new people if   if even I can't stand to look myself
Maybe if I just exist and push through my heart will go numb
Maybe I'm just invisible Maybe we all are
Maybe we see those who we love orhate
Maybe I'm just overthinking
Maybe it's just all in my head
Maybe I will just shut my brain

Maybe I will just end it all someday

But one thing is certain that day is not today