sometimes I think of how I was
and wish that I was still so young

but then I think back with my heart
remember how it really was

I was so angry

I was scared

I was confused and insecure

I saw enemies everywhere

I was naive and immature

but I'm not sure who I would be
if I had never earned my scars

if I had learned more easily
and earlier
or not at all

I don't know if I would
or could
change something
if I could go back

if I had made a different choice
maybe I'd still believe in that

and if I had been wiser
maybe then I would have never failed

or gained the courage that can only come
from fighting tooth and nail

if I had made no such mistake
how different my life would be

I would not recognize myself
and you would not recognize me

and though I still get caught up in
I wish I had, I wish I hadn't

or I wish I had more time
or I wish I still looked like that

I guess I'm grateful for
all those mistakes that made me who I am

and just as grateful that
I do not have to be so young again