Mamma don't you love me
the thought goes through my mind
over and over without a clear path or destination
like a tumbleweed in a desolate ghost town
it rolls around unseen
unlike on the movie screen

her tongue was a battalion
it fired through my soul
with metal shards of hateful love

her words were like a leather belt
that licked me time and time again
hit straight through tissue blood and veins
and hit my heart , my lonesome bitter heart

my house is painted in tiny black lines
the shadows from the bars
that surround the now empty and cold chambers of my heart

last night you ruined a lot more than just a tiny little crush
your ruined an opportunity for love
one for smile
one for tears
one for memories
one for some more fears
you ruined the chance for me to love again
one for me to be loved back
you ruined a chance for me to fall
to hurt myself and cry over the pain
you see...
you didn't ruin my night
or my crush
or my dignity
you ruined my chance at another chapter in life

I can't write a story
if you edit out the chapters mother...
the story would end and seem unfit
to ever be published
I can't write a story, If you take out all the chapters
I'd rather just stop writing
and leave it all unfinished

because you loved me to death
and the contradiction killed me