4d
I think the hardest part
was turning my heart from my chest.
Peeling the soft tissue from my sleeve,
pulse still twitching
veins still bleeding-
And ****,
it hurts, Love.
Like wrapping a bandage too tight;
Like hearing a banshee's keening-
Inevitable endings
turned to soft reassurance.
Tell me-
will you mourn me
like so many have before?
Will you grieve the future we dreamed of
that will now never come to fruition?
I am not as selfish as the Kings that came before me;
and for that, I am sorry.
I don't have the heart
to hide your animal skins
from your arms.
Nor will I curse you
with misery
upon misery.
I have loved you far too much for that.
I have known you far too well for that.
Instead:
Hold your hands to my heart, love.
Cradle me
Crown me
And let me bear wittness to your loveliness
just once last time.
I've known I had to leave,
200 years have passed
as you hold tight to me-
the years have been so kind to you, dear.
But you don't know that;
to you it's only been a heartbeat.
(Time works differenly here, afterall)
I'll don my coat,
soft seal skin sticking to my scars
as I turn back homeward;
as the waves open their maw to welcome me.
I will tell your stories for years to come.
I will dream of your arms,
of the future we designed to save us from dark days.
I pray you will forgive me, mi vida.
I pray we'll meet again,
on a distant day when we have assured steady footing.
I pray that you remember
my heart is ever yours.
was turning my heart from my chest.
Peeling the soft tissue from my sleeve,
pulse still twitching
veins still bleeding-
And ****,
it hurts, Love.
Like wrapping a bandage too tight;
Like hearing a banshee's keening-
Inevitable endings
turned to soft reassurance.
Tell me-
will you mourn me
like so many have before?
Will you grieve the future we dreamed of
that will now never come to fruition?
I am not as selfish as the Kings that came before me;
and for that, I am sorry.
I don't have the heart
to hide your animal skins
from your arms.
Nor will I curse you
with misery
upon misery.
I have loved you far too much for that.
I have known you far too well for that.
Instead:
Hold your hands to my heart, love.
Cradle me
Crown me
And let me bear wittness to your loveliness
just once last time.
I've known I had to leave,
200 years have passed
as you hold tight to me-
the years have been so kind to you, dear.
But you don't know that;
to you it's only been a heartbeat.
(Time works differenly here, afterall)
I'll don my coat,
soft seal skin sticking to my scars
as I turn back homeward;
as the waves open their maw to welcome me.
I will tell your stories for years to come.
I will dream of your arms,
of the future we designed to save us from dark days.
I pray you will forgive me, mi vida.
I pray we'll meet again,
on a distant day when we have assured steady footing.
I pray that you remember
my heart is ever yours.
I recently broke up with my partner of 2 years; and while I was the one breaking up with them (as well as knowing it was for the best, for I could not give them what they need in a romantic relationship and I could see it was hurting them), it still hurt. I, myself, am Irish-American, and adhere to several Irish traditons (not many though, since I'm only 3rd generation or something). One of these tradtitions being the Claddagh ring: a ring with a heart, crown, and hands representing your romantic status. Left hand ring finger, facing inward means you're married; left hand ring finger, facing outward means you're engaged; right hand ring finger, facing inward means you're in a relationship; and right hand ring finger, facing outward means you're single. It was such a small detail, putting on my collection of rings everyday and putting on my little claddagh ring facing towards me. So the first time I had to flip it due to my recent romantic status, it hurt more than I ever would have guessed.
