As I struggle to find myself
in a sea of you
I begin to lose myself
even more

I begin to adapt to your waters
my body becomes more immune to the cold
my kicks are stronger
and my breath holds longer

I don't like it though
I don't like how I'm growing
to be an eminent part of you
because it is not what I want

so I try to drown myself
I drown myself in hope
of being washed up
somewhere new, somewhere better