I sit in the audience,
Watching still as the choirs sing.
I hope that you’re here,
But deep down I know you won’t be.
You never are.
But you always apologize to me,
And even if I’m angry I will accept it.
Because your apologies are so good.
And I don’t want you to walk away,
So my tears are now silver stones,
That lay deep in my throat,
And slip out at night when I cry.
But at morning I will pick myself up,
I will be strong,
Because I fear that you won’t love me if you see my faults.
I am quiet,
Because every word is a risk.
I fear that when I speak,
You’ll grow tired of me and then you’ll leave.
So I act like a ghost,
Because you can’t hurt a ghost.
And nothing should hurt me.
Life is all just a game,
That I am losing.
So if you come you come to play,
Though I want to hold you,
It won't happen today.