Constrained positivity
Strained face and eyes
Borne tears of yours, but happy too
You confuse me
You delude me
Always tension in the air
But I’ve learned to breathe fine.
Any utopian thought I’ve made
Quickly gets drenched in fire
When I trip, or laugh weirdly
My world becomes unbalanced
By those ricocheting laughs
And their closed minded anthem
“Clumsy *** Carter, clumsy..”
To this day I hear it in the beat of music
Or the rhythm of the church bells
Most recently, the thump thumping of my heart
Locked away sealed inside,
Charismatic trumpets crafted with pride
Delivered isolation
And paranoic concentration
Don’t trip
Don’t put myself in awkward positions
Don’t.

So now when I see you cry
I can’t help but feel..
Nothing.
No empathy left for you
Or myself.

It’s my closed minded anthem now
Let it consume your life.