Clouded judgement
biased opinions
based off stereotypes
and ancient value
your own experience
from perhaps too many years
it all makes sense
but you can't lay it down on me.

Always wanting what is best
never fully healing past
what happened in your world
which was catastrophic
but at some point we all
come to the realization
to move on
...if we are strong
now I know
why I can never seem to reach you.

Always seeming to gather
thoughts and emotions
reports and reviews
of everything
from other people
having to master
knowing what they think
before making up your mind
so you aren't even really yourself
which is part of why
you can't seem to reach me.

After all this time
nights of crying and asking why
I have so much pain
can all this anger
find its place
having no inclination
as to where it all has come from
not personally experiencing
what some may end up calling
the textbook definition of
depression
post traumatic stress *******
anxiety
attention deficit hyper whatever
but yet all at once.

Aggravatingly confusing
constantly asking
question after question
getting over my father issues
knowing they ultimately
came from your inabilities
getting over every of my problems
simply because I was strong enough
ironically in part because of you
but I think with those higher standards
that could have been set by either one of us
the anger of you not fulfilling that
is your fault.

The life you lead is your choice.
Mine is mine.