Parts of my brain killed themselves as a survival tactic and I had no idea why. I woke up one day and I was less than myself, parts of me missing with no subsequence. I know I will grow again but I will never be the same. There are nights when things I cannot even remember, paralyse me in tears and fears on my bedroom floor. These are the nights I realised I was wrong about where the monsters lay, I was lead to believe they live underneath our beds. To my surprise, they are the ones who enter our beds; uninvited. I am jumping from breakdown to breakdown. It’s like playing the floor is lava, just with my sanity. Sometimes, I am struck with full awareness of all my adolescent traumas and a lifetime of wounds cut me all at once.