Life is good
Life is swell
Looking at you
from the bottom of my well

You say relax, sit back and smile
I say I would if I didn't have to shovel this pile

Razor blades outside my skin
repel your love cutting me within

My tortured mind takes over reason
I try to hold on white knuckling the season

I didn't invite this darkness to enter
It barges on in, knocking me off of my center
I pull from my bag of miraculous tricks
Meditation, Deep Breathing, but nothing sticks

The hardest part is what this does to you and me
I cry I'm sorry Babe, here is my apology

I'm awful to be around, to talk to, to love
I pray for your patience
and strength from above

I've lost the real me it seems to be
My sadness and nerves are my identity

I know I'm still here, plugging along
Playing Mommy, cleaning house, but without any song

Please reach closer when I push you away
Not easy I know, especially some days
Your love and tenderness ground me to home
You by my side shows me I'm not alone

Scrunched in my darkness
Squinting for light
Reach your hand out to me; say "It'll be alright"

My distance is really a huge shield of shame
I hate myself, loathe myself and take all the blame

This is not really me; messed up thoughts inside
I want to purge it all leaving my heart open wide

I love you, I need you, I want you near
It's so hard to ask you to wipe up my tears

*Today's reality, skewed and blue
Tomorrow may bring sunshine
And Me back to You.