I apologised to him.

I let him know that I was sorry.
I had come to the final conclusion that I had wronged him on many levels.
That I was in his life to speak life into him, but I spoke death to his name.

I apologised to him.
I asked God to soften his heart, that I wished not to receive the response he gave me a year and a half ago.
My Father softened his son's heart and my now brother embraced my apology.

The one I hated is now the one I love.
The one I love with the love of God and not the love of man.

I apologised to him, after 2 years of being unable to carry out God's will for my purposeful life.
He has finally given me an understanding into the life of His son.

I apologised to him.
My heart still beats at the sight of him.

I apologised to him.
My body still pretends that it is not mine in the sight of him.
But I will not let into this feeling, fleeting, floating, it will leave me hanging, left to die, die from pain, die from embarrassment, die from rejection.

I'll wait for him to leave.
Eight more months and this will all pass by.


I apologised to him.
I now speak life into him.
But a part of me wished he saw me as much more, somewhere not so deep within.

I apologised to him.
Now it is clear that my heart yearns for him.