she didn't tell me so she lied
leaving me with thousands of
tears over the years I've cried.
Now in hindsight, I understand
the sudden trip to Disneyland,
Of course, I was a fool because there was
a reason I was missing so much school.

she knew but I did not so she lied
I was oblivious in the worst kind of way
selfishly unaware
and I blame myself to this day.
Trips to the mall to buy a new dress,
so easily forgiven when I made a mess.
A new sound system,
Mounds of comic books,
My very own TV.
But she told my brothers and not me
thus stole my chance to live in reality.

She thought I was too young so she lied
had I have known, the questions would
have poured out of me like a flood
instead she left me with so many
unanswered questions about the secrets
of all life's greatest lessons.
See, I didn't need toys, prizes or trips abroad,
Those aren't important now that she's gone.

She wanted to spare me the truth that
she was dying, so she lied.
Decades later I'm still angry inside.
So when all was unsaid and done
all she really left me was
A Beethoven bust,
A lot of broken trust,
The love of poetry,
Tons of insecurity,
years and years of acting wild
but mostly she left me
a motherless child.