I'm so sorry I couldn't keep you.

I'm so sorry I couldn't hold you.

I'm so sorry I couldn't bury you.

I wonder every day what you would have looked like.

If you'd have his eyes or mine.

What color hair you would have had.

What your favorite foods would be.

How I would have introduced you to your aunts and uncles.

They would have loved you so much.

I can't sleep anymore.

Every time I try I wake up choking on guilt and despair.

You were so small.

You were so perfect.

I counted your tiny fingers.

I saw your flawless lips.

You could have been born close to my birthday.

I could have celebrated the return of the sun with new life in my arms.

I cannot hold you now.

I cannot feel you.

I will never get to.

He does not understand.

He cannot feel the depth of the emptiness your loss has given me.

He hasn't touched me since I lost you.

I don't know if I want him to.