Every wish I’ve had, Every wish sin-clad, And every wish sung bis.
My wishes are all So selfish, For I only wish To learn What I would become When every written page I’ve read is ever burned.
I’ve wished for life, I’ve wished for death, I’ve wished to see A final breath Escape the lungs Of those I love Just to see if I Would cry. I wish that I Would die.
I toss my thoughts, My dreams, My sins, To join my ever- Filling bin.
I toss them all, All to become My own ideal eye. I wish that I Would die.
And though I banish All of the thoughts That endanger me By existing,
A voice that sounds Just like my own Persists on its insisting.
I cannot cry Or spare a sigh For indifference Consumes me so.
In face of fear, Unlike a deer, I’ll die With my eyes shut closed. A surely, I’ll never know. Surely.