I accidently breathed life into the beast that has always seemed to reside deep down inside. Where my patience is already short supplied. My sorrow can't ever truly be denied. Eyes filled with tears that I haven't yet cried. Where am I going to next I cannot decide. I may just go ahead and ride the pride, breaking through to the other fuclimg side so my cousin I can see. Him and the rest of my deceased family. I stand among the debris. myself I am trying to run from me. Tomorrow coming holds no gaurettee. The only thing that I could ever hope to be is just pain old me. LOnging to be ******* free This sinister darkness is ******* foreboding. feel like I should be exploding. I am already over loading, ******* hardcoding til I went off roading. was smoking just floating. To me this is ******* coping that is until I start choking. I am just hoping the demons I am not provoking. Surely I am not invoking. I don't say that lightly for I am not joking. Promoting their possession of my damaged soul I travel on to the places even my angels fear to go I have a feeling that I belong way down way down below. I'll admit that loud is my rock and roll I constantly rock this bowl. so apparently I am no where near being in control. Im so broken I cannot be whole. I have been impossible to console. Then while praying out loud I heard it echo. Why is I am here in this hellhole. Armed only with a couple bullets and Daddy's pistole. So don't you be an *******. Into **** near everything I pour heart and soul. I jump down another rabbit hole trying to catch that troll. The horizon is already all aglow. Did you not ******* know that end up that much more corrupt, I am cold. This is a demented and perverse Fairytale that has already been told. Matter of fact it getting rather old. No questions were asked and there were no lies sold. Like laundry I know right when to fold. My ride or die has already died as he rode. Cracks in my moral code. Life on this dirt road. You don't have to tell me I know that I am throwed. I always I end up sitting alone in **** dark, trying to create a ******* Spark. So I can watch myself as I stab myself with Jagged pieces of your broken heart. I am waiting on this journey that on which I'll soon embark. I think It was somone in the hierarch that to no one else could make an off/ handed remark. There wasn't one person he didn't appear to outsmart. It was pretty much his trademark. My granny is our matriarch. A Monarc from the trailer park. Laughing like a loon I have gone mad as in raving stark. I will not miss my mark, From generation to generation this knowledge the elders did impart. Keeping us prayed up on our way back up right from the start. Feelings serverd now alicart. I thought I was in prime position to fall apart Losing myself in the nefarious dark. My path needs illiumanating someone please light up my dark steps help me not to be stressed. I don't need to be obcessed. MY true self I have surpressed. I ******* confess I am nothing but a hot mess These crazy thoughts infest as the truth's hard to digest. Burning down in the protest The matriech I was meant to protect. Now it's save your own *** that 100% in effect. Spirits from the past I attempt to ressurect So with the ones I sincerely missed I can soon connect I wish I could do it imn a manner that was more direct I don't know it was I did ******* expect I only brought them back with much love and respect Even though my secrets are being safely kept Still in a few days I haven't yet slept I am more than a little wrecked Emotionally broken in every aspect on my traumatic past I reflect I am in fact the suspect on a rather touchy ******* subject I am feeling pretty **** inept I think maybe I need God to intercept Outside my mind I have stepped This is something I can accept Over this unbearable pain I have wept These memories from the past I try to eject off into space I blast like a space cadet perfect I **** up, I am a **** up perfect I am sure I am one that won't be easy to forget At making things worse I am indeed quite deft The weight of the world on my shoulders I try to heft What to expect from someone who's went this far left The pain in my brain has been etched The situations far to complex The sorrow a ******* side effect Wading in the pool of past regret looking back in retrospect smoking the day's last cigarette while my thoughts I try to recollect