i am a skeleton. you gave me your all and all i could hand back was a piece of my femur. the love inside of you makes my love seem small i’m so ashamed of my silence. i walk backwards down a stairway seeing the walls i put up too big too tall for you to cross. i need to love but i’m too flimsy my bones are weak. the love inside of you taught me about the love inside of me and it doesn’t have a home since i left you a ghost in a house by the highway. we live a few miles from each others smiles, dive in the pool at nighttime the lights are so bright. i swim with the bugs and we hold each other. how hard is it for me to show you what i see? i lied for my pride— he said we were beautiful. the love inside of you is growing stronger the love inside of me is begging for forever but i have no skin nothing to hold onto. i killed myself briskly if you had a word in i wouldn’t have stopped breathing. it’s car trips and teenage years i want us to roam free two kids with our bones and our aches and our loves we can’t express i deny till i’m upset that you want someone else in your pool in your house in car rides at midnight instead of my feet that can’t reach the pedal right. i make things a joke and you laugh and i know that the other girl won’t make you lean back as you laugh, though i don’t know this for sure. the love inside of you is trying to call on the love inside of me but i soiled it all. i’m blue and i’m scared we may never be anything except two kids with shotguns pointed at each other though you are the bluffer and i just don’t know how to fake anything.
the love inside of you beckons the love inside of me. how dare i prevent that from myself?