The bathroom mirror needs a good talking to, it started by showing me a face which said, 'good lord John, is that you, what a dreadful thing to see.
it may have been watching me take a ***.

I'd give it a smack but the **** thing would crack and that'd be seven years of bad luck for me

Anyway
I'm going to fix it for good, nail some wood over it and it won't see me again.

It'll never happen She says as she happens on by,
Why? I reply
because you're too vain
She says
and She may have point.

But
the mirror is yackety
always smiling back at me
and it still needs a slap.