How can I ever be strong When I know there is this Incurable weakness writhing Within me? Every time, I repeat my mistakes Because I am too weak to say no. Every time, I miss opportunities Because I am too weak to say yes. Every time, I fall into self-pity Because I am too weak to make myself Better. I can see myself Stronger, improved, worthier But I cannot remain on the path to Success For my childish weakness trips me And drags me down And I am too weak to fight off my own Weakness.
How can I ever be good When there is so much bad Swirling within And strangling me? I cannot suppress the evil and twisted Thoughts that sprout from my mind. I cannot help but take delight in them, Somehow find pleasure in their utter Despicableness. And I cannot help but find a sour pride In possessing such horrible thoughts, As if it makes me special.
How can I ever be me When I am completely influenced By the people around me? I am a collage of mirrored traits And characteristics Adopted from friends and family. All my aspirations of personhood Are tainted by society’s ideals. Nothing is truly mine. Nothing is truly original. I am trapped in a never-ending cycle Of give and take, Repeat and release.
How can I ever be happy When I know death awaits me? And while I live on this Earth, I am merely a meat suit, Imitating the ignorant beings around me While weakness and evil Manifest within my body. Maybe death is not such a bad thing. It is escape from myself, My poisoned, tainted being, My sad excuse of a life Without hope of redemption, For all humans are the same: Wicked little beings hidden behind smiles And good intentions.