Why am i waiting
To feel something
Like when I was young
Thoughts and memories
Accumulate inside my head
But still my heart is numb

I feel anguish
And sometimes I might feel some pride
But it's only surface deep
I watch my actions
As though I'm watching someone else
Making mistakes on repeat

Every day I'm
going through the motions
It's all work and it's no play
And when I find the time
To catch up with my old friends
I've got nothing to say.

Neural pathways
Digging grooves inside my brain
Habits getting more entrenched.
Mounting addictions.
I must resist this limbic friction
but I just don't have the strength.

When did my horizons
become so narrow?
Ambitions have slipped out of sight
The future is empty
Just body clinging onto soul
Going gentle into night.