Honestly I ******* hate everything I feel like a useless lump that can't do anything for herself because the doctor say I am not allowed to so I'm a burden I can't even brush my own hair or shower myself or make my own **** bowl of cereal cuz a gallon is too heavy so honestly I can see it that I'm pushing everybody away and staying home alone a lot and doing nothing which isn't healthy for me I know but honestly I would rather push them away and let them have their happy than **** them into my depression