Dear dad,

There are so many things I wish I could say to you

but I know you would never listen

I wish I could tell you how your decisions affected my childhood
How your rage left me afraid
How your wives stole my confidence
How your step children stole my innocence

How your negligence made us feel so alone
How I still have dreams that I’m trapped in your house.

How can you not recognize the pain you caused?

How can you not see the scars on me?

I shouldn’t have to remind you of your atrocities
So many wrongs you never acknowledged
Your actions never matched your words

I used to hope you’d get better

but you never did

I gave up on you

but the pain still burns in my heart

For the father I never had

For the dad I wanted so badly

And for the monster I had instead