It will never be good enough so I don't share or want to show my light because you'll dull my shine. They'll call it gaslighting but it's protecting my day because you'll ruin it.
When I was young I was a fat kid I worked hard to get lighter. I had a friend confront me about using drugs I said no I changed my eating habits. Then as everyone got older everyone was on the heavy side. Turns out everyone was on coke or using some kind of substance. My weight loss was natural.
I struggled in college, It blew my mind people would smoke *** and did coke to do homework. I struggled but worked barely getting by.
Developed a drinking habit. I'm not innocent college was different. People don't care if your smart because they'll think your stuck up or snotty. I learned way more working going through the motions. I love hate but it gets easier its all about maintaining.