Minute by minute
Hour by hour
Day by day
That’s how it starts

You’re eyes smile scent fade
As the months come and go so does you’re memory
Places that once held pieces of you and me
History has rewritten for a brighter more promising future

Forgive and forget becomes the next step

Forgetting you was easy- you were never really all there… you couldn’t decide right?

Bread crumb after bread crumb filled with false hopes you fed me for 3 long weeks.
I kept trying to get off the rollercoaster - you wouldn’t let me.
Selfishly you kept me tossing and turning in your storm
Leaving me open to the anxiety doubt and insecurities

The culprit in the end-  “****** chemistry”
Seeing me wasn’t your priority yet wouldn’t we need to see each to gage the chemistry???
What do I know I am the naive ****** after all.

You chose to gaslight my innocence rather than acknowledge your lack of  thoughtfulness , actions,  and confidence.  

What if I was just not attractive enough for you …? Maybe I did something wrong ?

You were still a boy in a man’s body
A coward scared of your own shadow
Wanting to keep me in your orbit but never close enough to be yours.

What if I had done more ? Would that have made you claim me as yours?

Darling you thought dulling my shine
Keeping me small would make me need you.
Would make me want you more ….
You didn’t expect me too refuse to bend or break for you.

Mending, healing, rebuilding ME
I found my way to forgiveness- it hasn’t been easy
Yet forgiving you I have

With every passing season
The version of me after you
Is rooted back on solid ground
I am enough !
Breathing more steady
Everything is okay …
Smiling again wider than before
I am worthy of unfailing love
Laughing deep belly laughs
That echo louder than ever within my soul
I am not anyone’s second choice
Love for life, the simple things , and peace flows through my veins like sunshine.
Life is beautiful and you were never the source of that beauty or joy.

You did not break me
You awakened me
Reminding me that I deserve better
Because I am better
You were never good enough
Thanks for the rude awakening