Sometimes I worry
I might do something crazy.

Sometimes I worry
That this loss has driven me mad.

Sometimes I think,
I should go for a walk.

I think, sometimes,
I should never eat again.

Sometimes I consider,
Crawling into your bed
And staining your sheets red.

Sometimes I wonder,
What would happen
If I turned up drunk on your doorstep?

It could be fun,
If I called your brother
Or your friends,
And told them everything you did
All your words that still ring in my head.

Maybe they could tell me
What really went wrong.

Some days it feels
Like the pain will leak from my ears
And tear a hole in my chest.

Every now and then,
The memories feel like dreams,
I fall into them
And out of reality.

Some nights feel so dark,
That I fear the sun has died,
Or that maybe you have taken it
Just to torture me again.

At work, sometimes,
I think I will get up and leave
And never come back.

I worry that if I see you,
I might snap.

Sometimes I think,
I should just go to sleep
Before I go rooting through cabinets
And wandering through streets.