I haven't eaten
in three days
because my own self loathing
has kept me full.

I haven't written my college essays
because I know that it won't change
anything.

I haven't told my friends
that by Christmas,
I won't be here,
because I'm afraid
to see them cry.

So I keep it to my self,
and watch as life goes on
as I silently weep
for what could've been.