Ripped up and torn apart
as they always have been
I watched as your hands dig
through your pockets
in search of that last cigarette.
as smoke poured out of your mouth
I thought back to a time in which
my love did the same.
Two years previous
This would bring me to tears.
Studying your steady heartbeat
with each breath I wait for
"I miss you" to follow.

Telling you what you meant to me
ended with a reply of
"I know,
you've already told me"
but wether or not it's understood
runs away as time has. Leaving me
wondering, can you see
that i've been broken ever since?

Placing your chewed up chapped fingers
on my left knee, followed with an empty stare
possibly in search of words. Your eyes, now
empty muddy pools swirling with the different drugs
to keep the weekends exciting, are an abandoned
home. Yellowed teeth from the five
smoke breaks a day share the same spot as
cold coffee to keep you alive on these long nights.
Yet, for some reason butterflies still carry me away
when brought to company
even though, we don't appear to be
the same as we were
two years ago.