Someone recently said to me, “God does not give you more than you can handle.” That’s really been weighing on my mind, it inches to the surface, and I feel a surge of anger, then it’s tucked back into the back of my mind. God does not give you more than you can handle?

I know my grandma believed that with all of her heart. Week after week, she would pray for the salvation of my mother, my father, my brothers, sister, and I. Every single night, she was down on her knees praying for redemption, and thanking God for the gifts he has given to her. And she believed it! I admired her strength and her belief in God, because I learned as a small child that God can give you more than you can handle, and when that happens, and you reach out for help, sometimes there’s no one there. I’m not going to sit here and write out examples and questions…such as, really, then why do children suffer and die from cancer?...because I’m sure there are those out there who can provide justification for that.

Sometimes I would ask my grandma about her unending faith in God. “Grandma, what if God doesn't answer? Is he too busy? “ I’d ask. And grandma would answer, “Nita, you just need to pray harder, God will hear you…just pray harder.” And I would remember her words at night, when I was scared and alone, I would think about her words when my father would touch me, and I would pray harder.
God doesn't give you more than you can handle!

Now, in the present, I know that I am “handling” it, but there’s no other choice, is there? Handle it, or give up? I don’t want to be here, facing all of this, and yet, here I am, “handling” it. Is this what it means? That God doesn't give you more than you can handle? Sure, my family and friends have suffered as a result of the abuse of my past. Is God giving them more than they can handle?