You act as if I planned for this
but you don’t know the half of it,
you haven’t a single clue.

You could never understand
my love for rain;
how beautiful it is even after the wind subsides
bringing petrichor.
I wanted to dance beneath it--
you said people would stare
I did so anyways and
watched as you walked away.

You never bothered to decipher
my love for music
or the particular webs of notes
that made my heart strum like a six string
no--you never bothered looking for a pick.
Your only concern was how my preferred genre
contrasted from yours.

You never once fathomed
watching a full movie
without touching your lips
to mine
never truly grasped the scene
or fell in love with any of the characters
got offended when I forced you
to keep your eyes on the screen--
we were in a theater, for God’s sake.

We never spent a single day alone
at your house, nor mine,
never lazed around
watching the day go by around us
while baking fatty desserts,
not watching our favorite movies
playing stupid board games
I would have loved it
but no--when we weren’t with our friends
you were begging on your knees
for me to be in the same position
wouldn’t take no for an answer.

You once asked the medical
definition of depression,
never inquired for more.
Never unraveled the ribbons that tumbled
out of the dusty corners of my brain
late at night
when I couldn’t wipe the tears away
fast enough.
Never respected the days
where I woke up
wishing I didn’t wake up
I just wanted to be left alone
quit trying to hold my hand
you’re just ******* me off.
No--all you ever said
when those days came and went
was, “I’m sorry”.

Parts of this were my fault too--
I could’ve tried harder
to make you understand--
but the more I distanced myself
the more comfortable I felt.

You never claimed to be a poet, Dear,
but I did;
I claim it each and every day.
You never read the words
I asked you to
but the one good thing
I’ve held on to from our time together
are all the poems I’ve written of you,
all of the words that have collected themselves
to form the patchwork essence of
who you are
and I have finally come to understand
even though you probably haven’t
perhaps you never will
but for this,
I thank you kindly.