Its like the pain is muffled inside of me
urging to escape
to be fully me
a lover of human beings
masculine edgy
feminine but strong
a savior for the voiceless
a fairy child
a animal whisperer
I feel trapped by my own pain
by the voices in my head of those who bullied me
still keeping me small
of the internalized homophobia
and self hatred
of the yearning to believe still
that the good men exist
and I have just yet to meet more of them
that what I dream of is truly possible for me
and for that reason I keep on living
so many have told me I am so brave
I think I wanna stop being so brave
and start being happier.