you just turned 19 in march
i just turned 19 in june
march is gone and so are you
june is still here and so am i

how is that fair?
i don't care about "god's plan" or if it was
"meant to happen"
it shouldn't have been

god needs to leave my friends alone

how have i suffered 2 such devastating losses of friends my age
and i'm not even old enough to buy alcohol yet

you were getting clean when you died
so now i'll start smoking cigarettes
(the ones i'm not old enough to buy yet)
and get *****
i'll get real *****
and i'll live for the both of us

i'm not happy, i don't remember the last time i truly was
i see death all around me
people, birds, bugs, other animals

your car crash makes me want to crash my car
i miss you

i still see your notifications
i still hear the videos we would send each other
i can't read the comics we used to talk about
or watch the shows we use to geek over
i can't do anything i used to find comfort in
because through those things i also found comfort in you
and now that you're gone
my safe place is gone too

i miss you