Sitting there
Supporting a friend
Dropping the note
Handing it over
To him...

For a moment
Things are okay
All is still
Then
The storm breaks loose

Standing
Bash it against the wall
Punch it, over and over
Then storming away
Pulling off the covers
Throwing it aside
Bolting...

I walk
Away
Hide
In the bathroom
Lock myself in the stall
Cornering myself
Curled up
In a ball
Of fear and confusion

This is the world we live in
This is the way things are
I feel it
Hitting me
Knocking me down
Like a wave

Where are my feelings?
Inside,
Finally showing through
It kills
I destroy what once was

I said I didn't feel it
He felt it too much
I broke him...
I broke him...

Covering my ears
Half an hour later
I am found

"Kid? Kid?"
"Hey, I found her!"
"Hey, it's okay, it wasn't your fault."
"Come here, it'll be okay."

Held by those who love me
This cause
The hurricane
Is loved?

I had a feeling in my stomach that I hated
Hearing it made it lurch
He promised
He wouldn't try
But there they were

They stopped it
Held it together
All let loose
Ran, bolted
Eventually brought away
Safe...

But what is safe?

Just promise
You won't try again...

Just promise
You'll be okay...

Just promise
You'll move on...

I know he'll never read this
Never see through my eyes
Even so
I care...
Just know I care...
I'm sorry...
I just couldn't live a lie

Crippled by who I am
And what I have become
What I did
Ended
It almost cost a life...

- Jay M
May 20th, 2019